Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Expect the unexpected

About six weeks ago, a visit to my GP confirmed I was expecting.

An unexpected event for a 43-year-old mother of boys aged 8 and four-and-a-half.

A surprise. But my partner and I quickly became excited (as well as a little anxious) about adding to our family.

We had quick agreement on a girl's name - after all, we had never got to use the one we always had in mind. We had narrowed down the options for a boy's name.

We decided not to share our news with the boys and the rest of the family until this week when I expected to have my 12-week ultrasound.

Unexpectedly I miscarried on Saturday afternoon and ended up in the local hospital overnight for observation. It goes without saying that the fact it was a surprise pregnancy did not make the miscarriage any easier to deal with emotionally. All our hopes and dreams for our third child gone in a matter of hours . . . but always to be remembered.

There is still so much going through my mind - obviously because I wouldn't usually post at 4am! I haven't actually been inclined to post for quite some time but I felt as though I had to write about it . . . perhaps it's part of the process of sorting through the whole unexpected turn of events.

One thing I have been quick to realise is how truly grateful I am for the two lovely boys I have. I'm so happy to be their mother. I can honestly say that watching them grow is the biggest joy of my life.


katiecrackernuts said...

Oh,I wish you'd emailed, or rung. I will give you a call, OK.

Farmers Wife said...

I am so sorry for your loss. How sad for you and your family. I hope you are okay. I can understand how you feel as we have been trying for that elusive 4th and last baby for 4 years. And I have had 4 miscarriages. Yes it is painful but it's funny how in the end you do appreciate what you have, and the family you do have. Peace to you x

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