barednikkers

Life's myths

2010-10-23T21:46:00.001+11:00

I'm planning to expose some of life's myths - things we are meant to believe but are simply not as they appear.

I'm starting off with: ``Lift here to open''.

Now, how often do you see that printed on a cardboard box of some sort, be it with biscuits inside or plastic wrap or whatever. And guess what: it never works! You lift the tab ``here'' where it says and you still have to tear the box to get the damn thing open!

It's just not right.

New home, sweet, home

2010-10-17T20:20:00.003+11:00

Apart from a half a dozen or so boxes we are settled in our new place.

It's all good. More room for everyone (so XY5 and XY8 no longer have to share a room) and a big -although hilly - backyard.

Moving house is definitely one of those things that gets worse as you - and your children - get older. I think that's not just because you've had more time to accumulate stuff but that you know fully well what you are in for.

So with that major event mostly behind us and XY45 seemingly successful in getting rid of a bug from my PC, I'm hoping to get back into the blogosphere.

Moving forward

2010-07-17T20:44:00.003+10:00

Maybe it's because words have been such a part of my working life, but I have a real dislike of popular phraseology.

``Moving forward'' is a particular pet hate of mine. Unfortunately its use went into overdrive today when the Prime Minister announced the August 21 Federal Election.

I first started ``moving forward'' at my former workplace when middle management types cottoned on to the phrase. They seemed to think it made them appear more progressive and intelligent than they actually were. They spent a lot of time talking about ``moving forward'' but in actuality they never went anywhere.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to the idea of making progress, looking to the future, evolving, developing ideas or embracing growth, advancement or improvement. It's the glib use of words in meaningless verbiage which irks me.

Why not just say what you mean rather than spit out the poorly chosen words frequently used by others?

In a similar vein, why is it that Julia Gillard was noted as Australia's first female Prime Minister? Wouldn't it be more correct to refer to her as our first woman Prime Minister? I'm hoping someone can set me straight on this. My train of thought is that a woman is the term for a female human being. There can be a female dog, pig, cat, bird, etc but a woman is a human who is female. If there is a grammatical reason why female is used rather than woman, please let me know.

As for ``moving forward'' it will be interesting to see what unfolds in the next five weeks during the election campaign. Maybe Australia will even get its first elected woman Prime Minister!

The things you do

2010-07-06T17:26:00.004+10:00

My younger son - formerly known as XY4 - turned 5 on Monday.

He had his first ``real'' birthday party with friends he knows from pre-school at the local indoor play centre.

I don't know who was more hyped up for the big event, him or his dad (XY45) who was insistent on going to the effort of decorating the homemade allergy safe cake himself.

For those of you not in the know, it is an omnitrix. If you don't know what that is, Ben 10 wears it. If you still have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry.

Breaking news rush

2010-06-23T23:10:00.003+10:00

Once a journo, always a journo I've been told.

Tonight after dinner I retreated to my bedroom to read - despite the 3XYs asking several times: ``Are you sure you don't want to watch Red Faces with us?''

But then XY9 came in to tell me there was ``breaking news'' about to come on. I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes but then I heard Laurie Oakes's voice and you know what that means - real news.

I scurried into the lounge room. And what a story - a challenge for the Labor leadership and Prime Ministership. I couldn't help myself. How exciting. What a buzz. History in the making . . . how could anyone not be interested! Can you imagine the atmosphere in Parliament House? Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the thick of it.

Of course, I stayed tuned in for further developments. I channel surfed between the free-to-air and SkyNews. I held out on the chance that the PM would hold a press conference. And he did.

At 9am tomorrow is the political equivalent of the gunfight at the OK Corral. Rudd facing off with Gillard. Great stuff!!! It looks like KRudd won't be able to hang on. We'll know soon enough.

Pundits would say the likelihood of a challenge has been building for weeks, even months. The stalling of the ETS, an about-face on asylum seekers, backflip over provision of childcare places and other broken promises resulted in a huge drop in the electorate's approval rating of our once-most-popular PM ever. I was more certain than ever that there was something afoot when neither Gillard nor her family would agree to be interviewed for an updated profile piece on the Deputy PM which aired on this week's Australian Story on ABC TV.

Now, convinced there will be no further news reports until early tomorrow morning. I can head off to bed and contemplate the possible dawning of a new era in Australian politics.

Yes, I know. All this confirms that I am a news junkie. I simply can't help it.

No topless fun allowed

2010-06-07T10:07:00.006+10:00

An all-too-infrequent girls weekend is on the cards for me.

I thought it would be great to add some fun to our travels by going topless. The four-wheel type of topless - I'm talking cabriolet, soft top, convertible. You know, like Thelma and Louise but without the gun toting and driving off cliffs.

I jumped on the phone to local car hire companies to check prices for securing the perfect girls road trip car.

Guess what? There's no topless fun allowed here. None of the four (and I'm talking national chains here) had any.

``You don't have one?'' I asked disbelievingly.

``No,'' the man at one answered.

``Why not?''

``Well, they are not very practical are they? I mean the sun can be pretty hot.''

``Not so much this time of year,'' I suggested. ``Maybe there is just no fun allowed in X (name of major regional NSW town withheld to protect any hope of it laying claim to having a cosmopolitan atmosphere)?''

There was silence for about a minute until he realised my comment was an attempt at humour. Then there was a short laugh. ``I guess not,'' he admitted.

Undeterred, I inquired about a vehicle with a sunroof and then some other ``cute'' girly cars but I still struck out.

One helpful (?) man at another company suggested I'd have more luck hiring a convertible ``on the coast somewhere''. Mmmm. Thanks for that. The coast is where I was planning to drive to from here!

I'm disappointed beyond belief.

Obviously my expectations are way out of step with the masses here. There'd be no problem if I wanted to hire a big boofy 4WD or a ute...I'd be spoilt for choice. But it's not exactly the look I was aiming for. I mean, can you imagine Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte taking a weekend away in a dual cab diesel ute with bullbar?

Wonderful to the Max

2010-06-04T13:01:00.004+10:00

Tomorrow my local art gallery has an exhibition opening that I can't wait to see: Max Dupain on Assignment.

It is a touring exhibition from the National Archives of Australia which features man Dupain photographs which have not been seen before. Here is one of the photographs in the exhibition which may be familiar: Violinist (1971) Silver Gelatin Print, National Archives of Australia.

I've enjoyed his work ever since a photographer friend of mine introduced me to his amazing images.

Now I can see some without leaving home. Who says country and regional Australia is a cultural desert?

Patriarchal poppycock

2010-02-03T22:00:00.003+11:00

There were two words in some media reports this week about the arrival of the latest addition to the Packer dynasty which made me cringe: male heir.

Surely in this day and age, it is a notion way past its 'use by' date?

The Daily Telegraph reported: `Australia's richest baby has come into the world, with the male heir to James Packer's $4.5 billion family fortune born early on Monday eveing. Jackson Lloyd Packer was born at the Mater Misericordiae Hospital in Crows Nest. He is the fifth generation male heir of the Packer family dynasty which has at various times ruled the nation's TV airwaves, stocked magazine racks and and taken it gambling dollars.'

Do you have to have a penis to be an heir? Certainly NOT in my view.

Anyway, what's to say that Jackson or his older sister Indigo will want to go in to the family business when they are old enough?

I hope it's not a case of media putting an irrelevant gender slant on what is, really, a fluffy feel good story. After all, we have all come across news reports where gender is made an issue when it shouldn't be.

Quite simply, I am dismayed at the thought that anyone may still think it's only the first-born male of a family who can be an heir. I thought society had moved on for that misguided idea years ago!

Pure fluid joy

2010-02-01T18:39:00.005+11:00

Picture: Getty Images

There's nothing like the sensation of submerging in water and then moving through it. Cool. Silent. Calm. Blue.
I feel dolphin-like. Sleek. Graceful. Agile. Playful.
Being in water soothes me. As I immerse in it, it envelops me - shutting out the world. There is only me and the water, the water and me.
Wonderful.

Many of my happy childhood memories are connected to water. Swimming. Paddling. Sailing. Holidays. Surfing.
My teens seem like one endless summer spent with family and friends in and around the backyard pool. Barbecues. Smiles. Laughter. Fun.
I have loved being in water for as long as I can remember. Lake, ocean, swimming pool . . . even a bath.
Blissful.

For me, it's an innate affinity. I'm not sure why or how. I just soak it up whenever I can.

Expect the unexpected

2010-01-20T03:32:00.003+11:00

About six weeks ago, a visit to my GP confirmed I was expecting.

An unexpected event for a 43-year-old mother of boys aged 8 and four-and-a-half.

A surprise. But my partner and I quickly became excited (as well as a little anxious) about adding to our family.

We had quick agreement on a girl's name - after all, we had never got to use the one we always had in mind. We had narrowed down the options for a boy's name.

We decided not to share our news with the boys and the rest of the family until this week when I expected to have my 12-week ultrasound.

Unexpectedly I miscarried on Saturday afternoon and ended up in the local hospital overnight for observation. It goes without saying that the fact it was a surprise pregnancy did not make the miscarriage any easier to deal with emotionally. All our hopes and dreams for our third child gone in a matter of hours . . . but always to be remembered.

There is still so much going through my mind - obviously because I wouldn't usually post at 4am! I haven't actually been inclined to post for quite some time but I felt as though I had to write about it . . . perhaps it's part of the process of sorting through the whole unexpected turn of events.

One thing I have been quick to realise is how truly grateful I am for the two lovely boys I have. I'm so happy to be their mother. I can honestly say that watching them grow is the biggest joy of my life.

Twilight troubles

2009-11-20T20:48:00.006+11:00

Let me start by saying I have not read any Twilight books nor seen either film.

I only know about it from the general buzz and media hype that goes with something that captures the interest of the masses.

However, I read an interesting piece by up-and-coming fantasy writer Duncan Lay on his blog about some of the troubling aspects of unhealthy messages young women may be getting about relationships.

I found it quite an interesting perspective but I'd like to know what some Twilight fans think. Are some people reading too much into the storyline or are there some validity to concerns raised?

Don't Stop Believin'

2009-11-13T20:00:00.005+11:00

I can't get this song out of my head, so now I'm going to put it in yours!

Choral singing - especially acapella - has been a love of mine since childhood. I have actually been known to sing myself. (And yes, now you know for sure I really am a dag!)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

The song was Journey's originally with Steve Perry out front - and yes I did track down the You Tube of it too!

Second generation

2009-10-23T16:52:00.004+11:00

I spent a few days with my mum last week when it was her birthday. She still lives near where I grew up - a three hour drive from my current home.

During our stay, XY4 developed a bad cough so we headed to a chemist that I have visited since I was about 8. Of course, it has changed hands a few times since then but I almost fell over when saw that it still has the same children's ride that I enjoyed!

The ``Little Rodeo'' was a lovely grey horse that galloped along to the sounds of Herb Alpert's Spanish Flea. My brother and I regularly had a ride and that tune was embedded in me. Even now if I hear it I'm taken back to that mechanical horse.

While the music no longer plays, the Little Rodeo gallops as well as ever - as XY4 found out. Better still, its cost also harks back to the 70s at 20 cents a ride. That is priceless!

Schooldays revisited

2009-10-11T10:30:00.002+11:00

A few months ago I joined Facebook more for the sake of learning about online social networking media than anything else.

Anyway, now a bunch of people from my high school have found me. Not just those I was friends with but some I hardly had anything to do with.

It's good to reconnect with friends but why are those who were not my friends (and simply just in the same year) now wanting to be my friend on Facebook? Does it say something about some hang up of mine that I don't want to have anything to do with them or is it more a reflection on them that they are trying to connect with someone they never wanted anything to do with in real life 25 years ago?

Maybe I'm being a little like Elizabeth Bennet and prejudging them. I know I am not the same person I was in my last few years of high school, so maybe they have changed too. What do you think?

Random act of kindness

2009-09-25T17:51:00.002+10:00

I was the grateful recipient of a random act of kindness this week.

I was caught short at the chemist and had only $6.55 all up in my purse and the item I needed was $7.95.

I told the shop assistant I would come back later once I got the extra money, but a man next to me said: ``Don't worry, I'll give it to you - I've got a heap of coins in my pocket.'' He reached into his pocket and then put a collection of gold and silver coins on the counter.

``No, no - I'll come back later. I can't let you do that,'' I protested.

``Not a worry at all - I know what it's like when you're a bit short. I'm happy to do it.''

I smiled and thanked him for his $1.40 and his kindness.

I've never had that happen to me before - although I have done the same for others on a few occasions.

What goes around, comes around.

The dance ends

2009-09-15T14:55:00.004+10:00

I heard this morning about actor Patrick Swayze's death at age 57 after a battle with cancer.

The two biggest grossing movies of his career were Dirty Dancing and Ghost. But which one is your favourite? Both provided major movie memories for me during my early 20s and are among my all time favourites. If I had to choose between them, it would have to be Dirty Dancing. I still remember the effect Swayze's portrayal of Johnny Castle and all those muscular handsome dancers had on my impressionable young hormone-packed mind. Hope that's not too much information . . .

I have Ghost on VHS but not Dirty Dancing - maybe it will get a run on a TV channel as a Swayze tribute.

Now, 'fess up: are you a Ghost or Dirty Dancing fan?

A friend ever true

2009-09-14T21:46:00.005+10:00

Anyone who ever watched an episode of Skippy The Bush Kangaroo has to watch ABC1 on Thursday night. A doco - Skippy, Australia’s First Super Star - will screen at 8.30pm telling the story of how a crime-fighting marsupial conquered the world. Skippy was produced between 1967 and 1969 in Sydney, selling to 128 countries and being translated into 25 languages.

The one-hour show apparently includes everyone involved in the production of the original series, including actors Garry Pankhurst, Ken James and Tony Bonner (The blond-haired strapping chopper pilot who I always thought of as particularly handsome!).

It is said to give a remarkable insight into the pioneering show and some of its less savoury aspects, like how the animals were regularly plied with alcohol so they performed for the cameras while the women who worked on the show were treated like sex objects and made to wear mini-skirts to work.

Simply mandatory viewing in my book. I would just be unAustralian to miss it.

Mother mistreated

2009-09-10T20:56:00.003+10:00

It's no wonder that most Australian women don't breastfeed for the two years recommended by the World Health Organisation when you read about the situation which was reported in the media today.

A police intelligence analyst was banned from using morning and afternoon tea breaks to express breastmilk for her baby because they were "discretionary" and she was denied the use of accumulated leave. She was refused a private room and instead was made to use either an unlockable and "unclean" interview room - where she was interrupted by police officers - or a toilet cubicle. Read more here.

I am dismayed - not just at the situation this breastfeeding mother has been put in but also the misinformed opinions of so many of the people who made comments on one online media site where I read the story.

Let me show you what I mean.

Geoff of Walgett generously shared his solution: ``Cry me a river. Milk yourself before you get to work.''

Granny Clampet of Beverly Hills wrote: ``Mothers need to be at home with their children. You are either a police woman or you are a nursing mother . . . Children deserve to have the full attention of their parents. There is nothing wrong with being a mother, shame most people underestimate how important child raising is.''

Ray of Newcastle wrote: ``I think its a wind up by the pro breast feeders to bring attention to themselves.''

Then there was this gem from Anne of Central Coast: ``Breastfeeding policy????? Oh Plleeeaaasse. You are either at work to work or at home minding the children you chose to have!''

It was pretty obvious that many of those who commented had no idea about the realities of breastfeeding and how the human body works.

The archaic opinions voiced were so depressing I had to stop reading. Unbelieveable!

There is no reason why a mother should not be allowed to use her allocated work breaks to express. And a proper environment with privacy should be available at any workplace.

Equality battle fatigue

2009-09-09T22:43:00.012+10:00

Roles in the Australian Defence Force which should or should not be open to women became the subject of renewed public interest today.
The Sydney Morning Herald reported how the Defence Science and Technology organisation was investigating the question of what roles should be open to women in the modern defence force. See the full report here.

For me the answer is simple: Women should be able to take on any role in the modern Australian Defence Force that they want to - provided they are capable of doing it. I do not see how a woman wanting to put her life on the line for her country is any different to a man being willing to do so. If that's what someone wants to do while fully understanding all the risks, dangers and hardships they will face -no one should stop them. It's not a challenge I want to embrace myself but I support anyone's right to make that choice, man or woman.

If a woman can meet the same criteria a man has to in order to take on a particular role in the Australian Defence Force - or anywhere else in society for that matter - then she should not be prevented from doing so.

The Daily Telegraph explained that many combat roles were already open to women, although they were not allowed to serve as front-line infantry in units such as special forces, in armoured or artillery units or in some areas where materials toxic to unborn children are used. Women do serve in front-line roles flying helicopters and jet bombers, in the headquarters of front-line units and on submarines and ships in war zones.

I am a firm believer in equality. To me, this means the same rules apply to all and the same opportunities are open to all. I don't want to serve in the special forces in Afghanistan but anyone who can meet the selection criteria should be able to. I don't see how gender should factor into it.

Refreshingly, neither can the Minister for Defence Personnel, Materiel and Science, Greg Combet. ''My own view is that all categories should be open to women,'' he reportedly said. ''The only exceptions should be where the physical demands cannot be met according to criteria that are determined on the basis of scientific analysis rather than assumptions about gender.''

The minister said the Defence Science and Technology organisation was working with the University of Wollongong to develop a set of physical employment standards through a new joint centre of expertise. The centre would help the ADF ensure soldiers had the physical capacity to carry out critical tasks, regardless of trade classifications, rank, age, or gender, the minister said.

I think there remains embedded in our collective psyche a resistance to true equality for women in situations such as frontline combat roles in the ADF which is directly connected to the patriarchal basis of modern society. While many people have moved on from the idea of women being the ``property'' of their husband or father, far too many still see women as needing to be protected and looked after.

I'm troubled that it is felt necessary to send anyone off to do duty in a battle zone, be it a mother or a father, man or woman. Am I being too simplistic about this? I don't think so - but please feel free to tell me otherwise.

The award goes to . . .

2009-09-04T19:32:00.009+10:00

Today I was surprised to receive a pat on the back from a fellow blogger in the form of an Over The Top award. I'm amazed. Thank you Farmers Wife who described my efforts and and five other blogs as: ''Fun, interesting and definately worth a cuppa tea and a read!''

It is good to know Bared Nikkers does more than provide me with a source of entertainment! I was just starting to wonder whether there was any real reason to keep on blogging - apart from it being a cost effective form of therapy, place of self reflection and antidote to feeling socially isolated - and now Farmers Wife has given me some real encouragement to keep at it. As part of the award, recipients have to copy the following questions and change the answers to suit them and pass it on. The catch is only one word answers are allowed and it has to be passed on. Here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? Handbag

2. Your hair? Thick

3. Your mother? Priceless

4. Your father? Regressed

5. Your favorite food? Vietnamese

6. Your dream last night? Forgettable

7. Your favorite drink? Tea

8. Your dream/goal? Security

9. What room are you in? Nook

10. Your hobby? Genealogy

11. Your fear? Embarrassment

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? Thin

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Holiday

17. Where did you grow up? Abermain

18. Last thing you did? Ate

19. What are you wearing? PJs

20. Your TV? Old

21. Your pets? None

22. Friends? Missed

23. Your life? Rollercoaster

24. Your mood? Steady

25. Missing someone? Always

26. Vehicle? Sold

27. Something you’re not wearing? Bra

28. Your favorite store? Myer

29. Your favorite color? Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Today

31. Last time you cried? Sunday

32. Your best friend? Mum

33. One place that I go to over and over? Past

34. One person who emails me regularly? Rachel

35. Favorite place to eat? Phuong

Now it is my duty to send this award to the blogs I can't do without. Namely,

Ramblings of a Political Tragic

katiecrackernuts

femina and

The Farmers Wife

And I must check out the blogs of my fellow award winners:

Semantically Driven Thoughs And Things A Red Neck Diva Buried With Children The Playground Observer

Thanks for making my day, Farmers Wife.

Depilatory dilemma

2009-08-24T19:56:00.004+10:00

I was enjoying the unseasonally warm weather this afternoon while walking to pick XY7 up from school.

The usual tracky dacks were ditched in favour of some 3/4 lengths ones and I was quite impressed with the pace I managed to whip up. Then I felt a strange sensation.

A delicate all-so-slight movement on my lower legs near my ankles. I laughed to myself when I realised it was the hair on my wintry unshaven legs being caught in the breeze.

Embarrasing I know, but admit it - we've all been guilty at one time or another of letting our depilatory routine go during winter. Strangely I let the legs go but not my underarms. And actually commonsense tells me women shouldn't be shaving (or removing hair any other way) from any bits of their body any time.

So, the question now is: do I shave or is there still more days of winter and covered-leg fashion ahead? It's not the sort of decision to rush. I think I'll wait and see what happens weather-wise between now and the weekend.

Maybe I have the wrong approach. Perhaps I'm too complacent after 10 years in coupledom?
Do you have a hirsute season of the year? Please share.

My Name Is Jack

2009-08-10T23:05:00.005+10:00

Tonight's episode of the wonderful Australian Story had added significance for me.

A friend who has a four-year-old autistic son (as well as an older son in Year 1 and a daughter who will turn one in October) emailed me last night to tell me it would feature Nicole Rogerson and her family. My friend explained that Nicole started Lizard, where she is doing an Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) program with her son.

My friend emailed a number of friends and family members in the hope they would watch and gain a good idea of what ABA is about. Nicole's son Jack started ABA when he was four and, like my friend's son, he had no language and was significantly affected by autism. After many years of therapy, he now attends a mainstream high school.

I thought I understood the enormity of what my friend was facing in the battle bring out her son's best. But it really hit me when Jack's mum told how at one point she was told by a medical professional she had given so much energy and time to help Jack but there was nothing more she could expect to achieve and it was time to forget about him and raise her younger son. How devastating and shocking for a so-called medical professional to say that. I just burst into tears thinking about my friend and what she and her family are going through . . . the daily struggle . . . and the almost certain physical and mental exhaustion.

See the episode here. Australian Story is repeated on Saturdays at 12.30 pm or you can watch Australian Story on ABC2 on Tuesdays at 8pm.

Feeling back on track

2009-08-07T20:07:00.002+10:00

At the risk of sounding somewhat flaky, I had an experience today which lifted my spirits and reaffirmed my decision to embrace a new work opportunity.

I have been doing some freelance writing and PR work - mostly spasmodic - but was sought out by a local who has been running his own communications and media company. It has mostly just been him working from his home office but its now at the point where he has so much work that he needed some help - and he remembered crossing paths with me when I was working full-time in a media co-ordinator role. Lucky for me I made a good impression. He tracked me down and offered me regular work - some based at home, others during school hours only based in his soon-to-open offices in the middle of town and with the expectation of being able to offer me more hours in the next few months.

I was totally amazed - to be his person of choice for a job which gave me a chance to use my existing skills plus have the challenge of learning about broadcast and online media with the flexibility of hours parents dream about!

Anyway, this week I was thrown in the deep end yesterday and today when a major funding announcement for one of his clients meant that a news release needed to be researched and written and local print, TV and radio representatives invited to a media conference. However the boss was in Sydney on a job, so he had to leave it to me.

It all went off fine. In the middle of the media event while I was standing in a particular spot looking at a particular angle at some nearby homes talking to a reporter and cameraman I had a really strong sensation of deja vu. This used to happen to me quite regularly but not so much since I have been battling feelings of depression and not since I relocated here from Sydney in November 2007. I see it as a sign that I'm where I'm supposed to be and doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Yes, yes, say I'm being lame . . . however I'm not worried by that. I just feel that I'm getting back to being more my usual self and having my life back on track. And no-one would really want to take that away from me would you?

Countdown to Christmas!

2009-08-04T20:37:00.004+10:00

I know, I know. It's too early to even think about the 2009 festive season. And, normally I wouldn't except in the past week two unsolicited reminders have hit me.

Firstly, a friend (?) of mine send me a text telling me it was 150 days until Christmas. It seemed like only yesterday she send me a text to say is was 200 days to Christmas!

Then a newsletter I subscribe to from a lovely shop in Brisbane - Paper Boat Press - hit my inbox. It had news of a great winter online sale and its owner, the wonderfully creative Kylie, advising that orders for her very popular personalised Christmas star ornaments (pictured right) are available from mid next month and orders close in October.

They are definitely something not to miss out on, but another reminder about Christmas getting close was something I didn't want. I'm one of those people who cringe when Easter eggs start appearing in stores once the Back to School sales are over each year or who refuses to look when department stores who open their Yuletide decoration department before summer even arrives!

Anyway, beware . . . it's coming. It may as well be me who breaks it to you.

Just perfect right now

2009-07-31T13:28:00.003+10:00

There's been quite a few media reports this week on how Generation Y should not be too fussy about their first job.

Today we learned that Prime Minister Kevin Rudd once cleaned loos at a sawmill on his way to Australia's top job. He also flipped hamburgers and worked on hospital wards as well as in a supermarket and pulled beers in a pub.

The PM was right to say that different job experiences are a part of growing up. It certainly does broaden your outlook in life - and what can be the harm in that when you're in your late teens or early 20s starting your working life?

My first job was working part-time in a mixed business when I was in Year 10 at high school. I helped prep and cook hamburgers, fish and chips, served customers with fruit and veg, milk, bread and other essentials. I enjoyed it but I knew it wasn't something I wanted to do the rest of my life...and a learnt a lot including the difference between jap, butternut and Queensland blue pumpkins!

I don't think you can underrate any work experience.

However, I don't think it's just Generation Y that's afflicted with so-called job snobbery. People of many different ages simply don't seem prepared to take on a job that is anything less than their idea of what's perfect for them.

Sometimes in life you just have make the best of what's on offer right now. Do the best you can for yourself today in getting a job and see whether tomorrow may offer something better when tomorrow comes.

I think this all ties in with the general unwillingness society today seems to have with waiting for what they want. No one seems to buy a two-bedroom renovator's delight as their first home - they go into huge debt for a four bedroom plus study brick veneer McMansion. No one saves up for major household purchases - you just get them on no deposit, no interest, no payments for 48 months offers from major retailers or put them on your credit card so you can have them now.

Didn't someone wise once say: ``Good things come to those who wait''?

Cleaning up on cleaning

2009-07-22T21:43:00.005+10:00

In my own personal mission to stretch the family budget, I've been wanting to explore using natural non-toxic methods of cleaning.

Apart from the obvious potential health and eco benefits, they save heaps. Haven't you noticed how much more expensive your trip to the supermarket is when it's week you need to get washing powder, shower cleaner, mould killer, window cleaner ... the list goes on.

I sort of new the bicarb soda and white vinegar figured pretty large in the natural cleaning arsenal but I wasn't quite sure how to use it exactly or where. I have been tuning in spasmodically to Lush House on TV which features the wonderful Shannon Lush. I am yet to get around to visiting the website or get a hold of one of her books written with Jennifer Fleming: Spotless, Spotless2 or Speed Cleaning.

Imagine how happy I was to discover Rhonda's Down to Earth blog thanks to Blog Chicks. She describes it as: ``a blog about living simply and being content and fulfilled doing that''. Apart from interesting things about gardening, baking bread, making preserves and the like, there is a whole section on recipes for green cleaning.

I'll tell you how I go - with the cleaning and saving money.

Distance is a divide

2009-07-20T23:12:00.002+10:00

Growing up, my mum's parents lived diagonally opposite the end of our street.

Pop died when I was about eight but I was in my late 20s when nana died. Apart from a couple of years she lived in that house built by pop.

I can't remember a day going by they we didn't stop off to share a cup of tea, a chat or just say hello and give her a kiss and a hug. It was part of our routine.

My mum and my family live a four-hour drive apart. I would just love to be able to drop in for a cuppa some time during the day - after walking XY7 to school, in between errands, whenever.

I just had a dose of mum. She stayed with us for six days but went home of the train this morning.

I have to readjust to not having her company and sufficing with talking down the phone to her instead. I never realised how far away a four-hour drive could be . . .

Firm foundations for life

2009-07-19T15:51:00.010+10:00

I was getting dressed to go to a meeting the other day and when I put on a black halfslip on I wondered whether I was part of a dying breed.

These days the trend is to don underwear as outerwear. I have no real objection to that as long as it's done in good style and taste and worn at the right place at the right time.

Since I was 12 or so I've always worn a halfslip or petticoat with any unlined skirts or dresses. It helps to prevent situations where sunlight may shine through the fabric and show off more of myself than intended and clothing sits more smoothly and is less clingy. I realise this may make me sound a little old fashioned and prudish - but I'm definitely not.

It is one of the idosyncrasies I have that is due to my late nana. She instilled in me the belief that wearing appropriate underwear to head off possible wardrobe malfunctions was the proper and right thing to do.

She taught by example. She always wore white full slips. I think that to her white was the colour `nice' women wore and I guess for a large part of her life it was the only colour you could buy. When she wore her bowling whites she wore a double-fronted white petticoat underneath. I like to have a broader colour choice - anything from muted pinks to purple, navy blue and black.

Pantihose was another essential according to nana. She never left the house without wearing pantihose. ``You're not properly dressed unless you have pantihose on,'' she would say. She always wore skintone pantihose. I mostly wear black and never skintone. It's only in the last five years that I have not worn pantihose to the office everyday. Sometimes on hot days in summer if I wear a longer line skirt or dress I will wear sandals and no pantihose (because you simply do not wear sandals with pantihose - but of course you know that).

My mum also follows nana's unwear guidelines. For us it's just the done thing.

Thanks nana, for ensuring I had firm foundations for life.

Fantasy now reality

2009-07-07T12:05:00.005+10:00

I just heard how a former colleague of mine, Duncan Lay, has had his first book, The Wounded Guardian, published.

I didn't even know he was into the fantasy genre, let alone writing his own book. It's taken him quite a few years to get to this point. Anyone trying to get published may be interested to read about his journey at Secrets of a Fantasy Writer. He now has a three-book deal.

My partner reckons I've got a book or two in me, but I'm yet to be convinced. By Duncan's account, it's a hard slog.

Congratulations, Duncan. Good to know you got more out of all your commuting hours between the Central Coast and Sydney other than an intimate knowledge of CityRail!

At odds with bloggers

2009-07-05T16:21:00.016+10:00

I was TV channel surfing last week while grabbing a bite for lunch and a familiar face was on the screen: John Hartigan, Chairman and CEO of News Limited, was the guest at the National Press Club.

There was a particular time while I was a fulltime working mum when he was entwined in the daily happenings at my workplace and my team's efforts. It was another lifetime, but now here he was in my lounge room.

I couldn't hellp but watch. He spoke about the future of journalism. I thought he made some interesting points but he upset many bloggers with comments like: ``Blogs and a large number of comment sites specialise in political extremism and personal vilification.''

While I don't necessarily agree with anything Hartigan said, as someone with a background in journalism, it concerns me that virtually anyone can become ``reporters'' using new media. I see a potential problem in people who either do not do the research or check sources claims to substantiate the facts of a story. Despite the widely held misconception that you can't believe what you read in newspapers, stories are reviewed many times before they are published. That's not to say mistakes are not made - I'm yet to meet any person who is perfect. Bloggers can get it wrong. too.

It's important to remember there is a big difference between news reportage and opinion. Each should always be clearly identified but there are cases in traditional media and new media where the lines get blurred. I'm not sure if all readers always understand this.

I don't expect that new media will totally replace traditional media for me. New media is an added extra, offering something different.

The full text of what Hartigan had to say can be found here. And in the interest of being fair and unbiased, some critical commentary on his speech can be seen at Crikey, this blog, Mumbrella and The Michael Duffy Files.

Child's play for grown ups

2009-07-02T12:31:00.007+10:00

It was clear that most of the people who turned up were well prepared.
They were armed with notebooks containing their research. They wore comfortable shoes and clothes. Some even brought a support person with them rather than going it alone.
It was the opening day of one of the major events of the year - the Toy Spectacular - the pre-Christmas mega sale of a national store chain.
I can hear you sniggering, but it's serious stuff . . . just ask any parent. After all where else can you find the things that Christmas dreams are made of at great price reductions under one roof with no deposit layby and until Christmas Eve to pay it off?
I am a relative newcomer to this ritual. I had always been a fulltime working mum until last year's sale time when I fronted up but quickly realised I had not done the necessary preparation. But not this year. Last year was my reconnaissance for this year. There would be no slip-ups in 2009 for me.
After studying the 132-page brochure and writing a list of the desired items in a notebook, I formed my on-the-shop floors strategy: get in early, get the specified items ASAP and get on the layby line pronto.
For the unitiated this may sound like overkill - but anyone who has seen a queue for the layby counter so long that it requires specially-appointed staff to act like traffic cops knows it's simply pure survival technique.
I took comfort when I saw other parents armed with shopping lists in notebooks and the catalogue for reference. It reassured me I was up for the challenge.
It seemed as though everyone there in the crowded toy department was party to some form of insanity - a fear that if they did not get to the sale that they were somehow remiss as a parent. When I looked at other parents their faces had a look which said: ``Yes, it's crazy but I'm here anyhow.''
Sadly, some parents cruelled their chances of success before they started because they had not taken the essential step off-loading their children. How could they expect to concentrate on the task at hand when their trolley was already half-full with a toddler or two. What were they thinking??
I had already taken my XY7 to school and XY3 to pre-school and was on schedule when I drove in the carpark at 8.45am.
I got in the store at 8.50am, took 30 mins to fill my trolley (it would have been 10 minutes sooner but I could not find the Ben 10 Alien Force Creation Chamber and I had to consult the toy sale help desk for the location). Progress on the layby queue was slow but steady. The usual lone lay-by staff member had three helpers as well as extra staff to pack the items for lay-by storage.
My mission was completed without a hitch or any hassles - I was relaxed and smiling the whole time. I headed off home, content in the knowledge I had broken the back of the Christmas shopping tasks earlier than ever. I was pleased to know I wouldn't be doing a last minute rush and not being able to find the toys my boys truly wanted to see on Christmas morning.
My planning kept me calm and focussed throughout my toy sale shopping mission.
So much so that I even chatted to other shoppers while standing in the queue for lay-by. I said to a woman with a trolley so packed full it was a wonder it did not crumple under the strain: ``Well the good thing is we can all relax about Christmas after this effort.'' The reply:``Oh no, this is just the start for me.''
Another mum in the line told me that after she got her trolley full safely put away on lay-byshe was off to the other major national chain store which also started its toy sale today . ``You're brave,'' I mumbled, totally shellshocked by the idea.
She's probably going to the opening day of the toy sale of another national chain store which starts closer to the end of July.
I won't - one mega toy sale a year is enough for me.

Op shop joy

2009-07-01T15:04:00.009+10:00

After reading about the wonderful and amazing Op Shop finds of katiecrackernuts for some time, I finally gave it a go at the weekend.

I set out not expecting a lot because I never really unearthed amazing when I did pop in to op shops regularly in my `young and single' days.

I headed towards Lifeline and St Vincent De Paul in the main shopping strip of town full of anticipation.

Imagine my excitement when after a couple of hours headed home with a pair of black corduroy jeans for $5 and a fantastic fully lined woollen jacket in a bright pink/crimson colour for $10. Wow! I'll try and get my hands on a digital camera so you can see the jacket (I'm a dinosaur who still has a camer which uses film). I'm pretty sure I was smiling the rest of the day!

Even better, now I know Lifeline has a Plus Size Women's rack I will be keeping an eye on it regularly.
While my purchases were not as stylish as some katiecrackernuts has shared on her blog, I like them and have given me the encouragement to keep looking. A successful first outing, I think.

Blue haze clouds life

2009-05-04T19:11:00.011+10:00

Like many Australians, I have been fond of watching actor Rebecca Gibney throughout her career.

From The Flying Doctors, Come In Spinner, Halifax f.p. and more to the current hit series Packed to the Rafters, I've spent countless hours watching her on TV and admiring her work. So it was good to see her win Australia's biggest industry accolade - the Gold Logie - on Sunday night.

It's because of that I discovered I have some life experiences in common with her - depression and having a loved one suffering alcoholism.

To read what she said, see http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25425164-661,00.html

Among other things she said it was important to talk about mental health. So I will, briefly.

I first realised I was battling depression after a forced transfer at work in 2006. I was not happy about it at all and had trouble adjusting but it wasn't until a couple of months later I realised what I was experiencing was more than just the usual ups and downs of life. I did two counselling session organised through my employer's Employee Assistance Program and felt a little better, but after failing to make continued progress I sought out a psychologist with my GP's help.

My GP took time to assess my mental health and put together a mental health plan which qualified me for Medicare subsidy for a series of visits to a psychologist. I also started taking some medication.

I'm not feeling as low now as I was then, but have changed my career pathway and live in a different town to gain some work/life balance. I'm still taking medication but I got into a bit of a hole in the lead up to Christmas last year and I've started seeing a psychologist for another series of sessions and my mental wellbeing has improved.

Rebecca Gibney's experiences with her alcoholic father were also something I related to. In my case it was a former partner who I was with for some years.

We shared many wonderful times but there were also bad ones. It took me a while to really understand the grip that alcohol had on my partner - I never before experienced how alcohol can be such a devastating force in some people's lives. I had grown up with parents who enjoyed a social drink and as an adult I enjoyed it too but never to the point of dependence and where it impacted on my life in a negative way.

It was a hard life lesson for me to learn that you cannot help someone with an addiction unless they want to help themselves. In my case the alcohol won and I had to move on.

Like many of today's social ills, alcoholism is not talked about openly and its impact on the lives of the addict and the people in their lives are not widely understood.

Hopefully people in the public spotlight like Rebecca Gibney, in relating her experiences with depression and an alcoholic can help raise awareness in the community in some small way. It is important to talk to someone and get the help you need. A good place to start could be Beyond Blue: The National Depression Initiative on 1300 224636 or http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or The Black Dog Institute at http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

Hop to it

2009-04-08T11:08:00.005+10:00

These days Easter presents me with a special challenge - finding an Easter treat without dairy, nuts, or egg so my XY3 with food intolerances can eat it.

Hot cross buns are mostly fine but when everyone around you is tucking in to yummy chocolate don't you want to enjoy some sort of lolly treat too?

He doesn't like the dairy-free, nut-free chocolate (who can blame him - have you tasted it? Not a patch on the real thing) so I tend to go on my very own Easter hunt searching for non-chocolate easter egg options. They are few and far between. Not even all carob from health food stores are dairy and nut free.

I did spot some marshmallow bunnies in a brochure ages ago and now I can't find them in the shops - kicking myself over that one. I've seen some lollies in big bags (Natural Confectionary Company, I think) but although they are bunny shapes half the mix are the type which have milk power in them to make the white fluffy lolly stuff (think the base of strawberries and cream lollies or milk bottles). I have seen candy eggs in the past but not this year. Cadbury has some marshmallow eggs and bunnies but, as you would expect of a chocolate making company - they are covered in chocolate.

This little bunny has opted for marshmallows presented in a hard clear plastic box formerly occupied by Lindt's Lindor balls (yum yum) and specially decorated with easter theme pictures and tied with a big red bow. There are also two coloured plastic hollow eggs which I have filled with lolly snakes and put back together.

I'm sure that will ensure my little bunny has a spring in his hop on Easter Sunday. Happy Easter to you and yours.

Shoestring budget dinner

2009-04-07T13:11:00.010+10:00

My body clock was out on Sunday morning because of the change to clocks with the end of daylight saving (thank goodness, I say - it's ridiculous to rise at 6am in the dark this time of the year in Australia).

I ended up turning on the TV (still missing my ritual of the past of turning in the now-axed excellent Sunday program on Channel 9) to see a Today on Sunday segment where Leila McKinnon was cooking up a budget-priced dinner of pasta with tomato sauce. It worked out at just under $10. Find it at: http://today.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=797812

My partner and I threw together our own simple pasta dish creation some years ago and enjoy it on a regular basis. I love cheese-based pasta sauces but they are not the healthiest option and I'm not a tomato lover so we invented our own.

It has four ingredients:
500g pasta
pesto to taste (homemade or shop bought)
425g tin of tuna in springwater
Pinenuts are optional (not exactly budget conscious but quite nice as an extra)

Simply cook up the pasta as usual. In a separate small saucepan, put the drained tin of tuna and add the pesto. I use half a 190g jar, but adjust to your own taste. Mix tuna and pesto well with a fork to break up the chunks of tuna. Warm through on a medium heat - take care not to let it catch on the bottom. The pinenuts go in just before you're ready to serve.
Dish up the past and plonk the tuna pesto mix on top ... I add a bit of parmesan cheese to mine too.

The cost of this (without pinenuts) is about $10 in total (including 1/2 jar of shop bought pesto). It is cheaper when various ingredients are bought when on special at the supermarket. It would easily feed four adults - the pasta is quite filling. A side salad would stretch it further.

Apart from being a cheap meal, it takes only about 10 minutes to get it on your fork and adds a fish meal to your menu for the week. Healthy and cheap. Two big ticks!

Magical to digest

2009-04-03T16:32:00.003+11:00

What's your favourite children's book. Mine is The Magic Pudding by Norman Lindsay.

It takes me back to my childhood. It was read to us at school and I had a copy of one part (called the fourth slice) at home. I can even remember a school excursion to see a marionette production of the story.

I loved the illustrations - little did I know that author Norman Lindsay was a celebrated Australian artist! I was mezmerised by the idea of a never-ending pudding . . . that no matter how much of the pudding Bunyip Bluegum, Sam Sawnoff, Bill Barnacle and their friends ate of the pudding there would always be more.

Snugglepot and Cuddlepie (the gumnut baby characters) by May Gibbs is another of my favourites. I 've got a boxed set.

Both are just as enjoyable for adults as children. Importantly, both are quintessentially Australian. I think it's important to foster homegrown art and literature - so that as Australians we see our lifestyle and our surroundings reflected in what we read and see. What's the point of reading stories about hedgehogs hibernating for winter to a three-year-old who lives in Australia? I think it's more important to learn about the animals and plants they can see in their homeland first.

Do you have a favourite children's book?

Best things in life . . .

2009-03-31T18:24:00.010+11:00

In my search for ways to stretch my family's hard-earned dollars further, I've spent a lot of time looking on the Internet.

The best thing I've found is an organisation called Freecycle. Membership is free with the only constraint being that everything posted must be FREE. I guess it's more or less a high-tech swap meet.

Membership groups are based around various localities so you are giving away and/or receiving goods from people close to home so you don't have to travel far to pick up or drop off.

It is for people interested in keeping good stuff out of landfills. It is open to all who want to `recycle' something rather than throw it away. Non-profit groups can also take part.

Members simply post the item they are offering and wait for interested members to contact them.

Maybe there are toys your children are no longer interested in, homewares you no longer have a use for, or you've got a new lounge and the old one is too good to throw away. A Freecycle member may be eager to give them a new home.

Visit freecycle.org for more information and to see if there is a group based in the area where you live. If not maybe you could start one? It's not only a potential way of saving money but also environmentally sound.

So far I've gained a huge bag of material in various sizes which I plan to use for a few little projects as well as pass some on to my mum who is a keen patchworker. I've given away a few things including a timber single bed frame and a child's tricycle with a parent handle. It's just a matter of logging in regularly to see what people are giving away or looking for.

There is a similar site with free membership called e-cycled.com but it was not active near my home so I went with the other one. Find it at http://www.e-cycled.com/

Please tell me if you know any others.

Skimp and save

2009-03-24T09:53:00.005+11:00

Necessity is the mother of invention, it's said. And so I have a new found interest in finding ways to stretch every dollar in my family's household budget as far as possible.

I don't believe I have ever been a reckless spender, but going from two incomes to one (now I am undertaking uni studies by distance education) has been a real fiscal wake up call.

Apart from the usual belt tightening like buying generic brands at the supermarket, trying to buy non-perishable foods and pantry items when they are on special only and going from occasional take-aways to cutting them out altogether, we have also bitten the bullet and gone back to one car.

Having two cars went from being a necessity for two working parents to an unaffordable luxury for a single income family of four. Luckily we are about 800m from my partner's work and 1.5km from both XY7's school and XY3's pre-school. I have no choice but to do some much needed exercise - which isn't a bad thing.

The struggle to make ends meet is not something that people tend to talk about except between the closest of friends. However, I am certain that more and more people - for all sorts of reasons - are in the position of trying to find practical and easy ways of being thrifty.

I have decided to do a post labelled The Frugal Friend each Tuesday share some strategies that work for me and my family. It would be great if readers could share some of their ideas.

This week I have three Tightwad Tips:

Go Generic - Go on, give it a try. I know you're cringing. I was a dedicated brand name buyer not so long ago. But buying a generic brand 1kg of plain flour costs substantially less than a brand name. The savings can go towards buying an extra loaf or bread, carton of milk or whatever. I started by trying a few things such as sugar, flour, tinned fruit - things I figured could not be too much different from the brand name. There are some things I don't buy generic such as toilet paper (we have a couple of brands we buy depending what's on special). When you have a limited amount of money for groceries it's just logical to go generic or choose another brand if it's cheaper or on special. The cents you save here and there quickly add up at the checkout.

Get cooking - Using raw ingredients to cook your own meals from scratch rather than using pre-prepared sauces or foods. It really doesn't take that much longer and there are no hidden additives or preservatives. there are even saving to be had simply by buying whole tinned tomatoes rather than buying chopped or diced varieties. The price difference can be as much as 30 cents a tin. Just pop the whole tomatoes in your food processor for a few bursts or stab them with your handheld stick blender. Get some stock cubes, fresh garlic, herbs and your meals will not only taste great but cost a lot less. For me, with a child who has food sensitivities it's near impossible for me to use packet sauces and casserole bases anyway.

Slow cooker - Consider getting a slow cooker if you don't already have one. They are so easy to use - basically throw in some meat, veetables, herbs, tomato paste in the morning and then put them on slow cook . There will be a delicious healthy meal ready to eat for dinner. I have seen slow cookers at a national chain bnrgain basement-type stores for as little as $29.95.

It would be great to share ideas. I'm looking at making some of my own cleaning products in the next week or so but won't pass anything on until I've tried it myself. Maybe you already make some? Feel free to post your tips or email baredknikkers@gmail.com

Be thrifty! Make every cent count.

Great sounds, great cause

2009-03-14T21:48:00.002+11:00

I've been in a time warp of sorts enjoying the Sound Relief concert at Melbourne tonight - from my own lounge room on PAYTV.
I tuned in after dinner to see Hunters & Collectors, Split Enz and Midnight Oil hast just come on for the finale.
And, Barry Gibb and Olivia Newton John are closing the Sydney channel. Viewing dilemma!
Oh, the memories the music brings back!
Got to go . . . the Minister for the Environment awaits...

Clues to a sad story?

2009-03-12T22:42:00.004+11:00

There's something I saw the other day that I can't get out of my mind.

The family pulled up outside the local butcher store. I opened my door to get out and there in the gutter was a black pair of men's shoes.

They were not expensive looking shoes but they were in good condition. Now and then you see an odd worn shoe left here or there but not a pair virtually unmarked. As my children asked: ``Why are they there, mummy?'' I noticed the empty bottle of methylated spirits beside them. I shuddered as my mind put together what seemed to be clues to a sad story.

A troubling image . . . but not easily forgotten.

Images from Diane

2009-03-08T11:24:00.019+11:00

An episode of insomnia led me to watch a quite strange movie in the wee small hours of today. Namely, Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus.

Made in 2006 with Nicole Kidman in the title role, I wanted to watch it because I had a passing awareness of Arbus. A past love dating back from my 20s was a photographer and admirer of Arbus and I absorbed some knowledge of her work through osmosis.

Arbus (1923-1971) is said to be one of the most original and influential American artists of the 20th century. He works range from from her early experiments with the camera in the 1940s to her mature portraiture of the 1960s. She is regarded as one of the pioneers of documentary-style portraiture. She is known for her portraits of people on the fringes of society, such as transvestites, dwarfs, giants, prostitutes and ordinary people in unconventional poses and settings.

When the movie was first released I was interested to see it, but didn't get around to it. Now I have. I can see why it got a lukewarm response at the box office and from critics, but it did hold my interest to the end and it prompted me to refresh my memory and b roaden my knowledge of Arbus's life and work.

However, I don't really understand why anyone would make a biopic which isn't a biopic. A disclaimer of sorts at the start of the film explains that it is a ``tribute'' to the work of Arbus and what she ``could have'' thought and experienced.

Manohla Dargis, writing in the New York Times (November 10, 2006) was right to say the movie ``turned her life into a neurotic fairytale''. It's not exactly complimentary of the casting of ``Our Nic'' either. See in full here

After the credits rolled I jumped on the internet to help me sort out the fiction from the fact.

Detractors have labelled her work as ``voyeuristic''. But among the more complimentary, The Encyclopedia of Photography (1984) describes Arbus as ``a pivotal figure in contemporary documentary photography''. It says: ``Her unrelentingly direct photographs of people who live on the edge of societal acceptance, as well as those photographs depicting supposedly "normal" people in a way that sharply outlines the cracks in their public masks, were controversial at the time of their creation and remain so today.''

Arbus's pictures, according to the encyclopedia, ``are almost invariably confrontational: the subjects look directly at the camera and are sharply rendered, lit by direct flash or other frontal lighting. Her subjects appear to be perfectly willing, if not eager, to reveal themselves and their flaws to her lens.''

The encyclopedia quotes Arbus: ``What I'm trying to describe is that it's impossible to get out of your skin into somebody else's . . . That somebody else's tragedy is not the same as your own." She said of her subjects who were physically unusual: ``Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. [These people] were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life."

The images I have reproduced are from the Art Institute of Chicago Collection Database

For those interested, more on Arbus can be found here and here

Chilled at last

2009-03-05T13:08:00.004+11:00

Today it happened - autumn arrived where I live.

I went out the front door of the house to walk my XY7 to school and there it was. A chill in the air. It was like a splash of cold water on my skin. Wonderful.

There's no better feeling. It makes the day seem more alive. The air seems fresher and cleaner to breathe.

The first autumn hues are even starting to appear on the leaves of some trees.

I know that the new season really began days ago at the start of the month but now I feel it is here.

Inhale deeply and chill out!

Inspiring words

2009-02-22T22:07:00.004+11:00

I - like millions of other Australians - tuned in to the National Memorial Service for the Victorian Bushfire Victims telecast on TV today from Melbourne's Rod Laver Arena. To me there were two key parts of the program - the moving performance of I Am Australian and the heartfelt words of the Governor General Ms Quentin Bryce.

I believe her words were the ones with the most impact. The entire speech can be seen at http://www.gg.gov.au/spdf/2009/s20090222522.pdf but her closing remarks particularly resonated with me.

She said: ``To be a whole person, or a whole nation, is not to enjoy a perfect, untrammelled life, untouched by challenge or catastrophe. Rather, it is the blisters and cracks, the scars and loss, the failures and sorrow, and our honesty and hopefulness in all, that are the essence of our resilience, unity and completeness. Australians here and everywhere, today we acknowledge that life is indeed not perfect, and we give thanks to one another for being whole.''

Bruce Woodley (formerly of The Seekers) performed his song I Am Australian with his daughter and country music artists David and Merelyn Carter (who are Kinglake residents). Woodley added two new verses to reflect the firestorm disaster. It would be great if the new version was released as a fundraiser. Here is the link to the footage http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-au&brand=ninemsn&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:79315fe9-c861-4716-9e62-7fdfad11ca0b&showPlaylist=true&from=inline&fg=news#

Animated learning

2009-02-17T16:50:00.004+11:00

This afternoon XY7 taught me about the educational value of the animated series Scooby-Doo.

(Anyone who doesn't know who Scooby-Doo is can find out at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooby-Doo )

I was watching and listening to XY7 reading a fantasy/sci-fi type story as part of his set daily homework. One of the characters was Supercanine. I thought he would struggle with the word but he didn't. I asked him if he knew what a canine was. He answered: ``Yes, a dog''. I asked him how he knew that because it was a difficult word for someone in Year 2. ``I learnt it from Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo is a canine and he's a dog,'' was the reply.

There you go. It's not just brainless fun after all.

Come On Get Happy

2009-02-16T19:51:00.007+11:00

Judy Garland was one of many who have sung about it. And it seems society today obsesses about it. Being happy, that is.

The trouble is that despite the apparent fixation on finding happiness in life, a whole lot of people are not ``happy''.

I admit it is something I struggle with. My seeming inability to be happy most of the time makes me rather sad. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot to be grateful for and I have many happy memories and have happy experiences. But I am not constantly in a state of happiness . . . something which I have been given the distinct impression through life that every ``normal'' person should be or at least work towards being.

Is it simply that there is something wrong with my thinking? Have I misunderstood things? Is the world really not so happy-centric? Do I think about it (among other things) too much? It was a small comfort to me to discover recently that Ernest Hemingway once said: ``Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know''.

Or perhaps closer to the truth of the matter is it that most people put on a facade of happiness for the world? I guess we all do that on occasions, for no reason other than it's not pleasant for others if you have a long face. After all, a melancolic demeanour is not conducive to having a thriving social life. But neither is a contrived plastic-looking smile.

I've often been told I don't smile enough. It's probably true. I don't force a smile on my dial. When I smile it's genuine. I actually find a lot to smile about on a daily basis . . . from the simple pleasures in life like a blue sky on a sunny day to my own silliness. I have been told I have a GSOH and I love a good laugh.

What is being happy anyway? It is not easy to define because it is so subjective and there is no sure fix method of attaining it because different things can promote a feeling of happiness within us at any given time. The Macquarie Dictionary defines ``happy'' as ``characterised by or indicative of pleasure, content or gladness''.

There is evidence of strong interest in being ``happy'' and/or connecting with all things ``happy''. Google ``happy'' and there's 816,000,000 results. If you do the same for ``sad'' there's only 294,000,000 results. I suppose it makes sense that there's more demand for feel good ``happy'' things than ``sad'' ones.

Maybe I need to focus more on the ``happy'' things than the ``sad'' things. I do believe that the no-so-good times make you appreciate the good ones even more.

Apologies for the ramble. Finished now. And you've got to be happy about that!

Help however you can

2009-02-09T22:40:00.005+11:00

I know you have been as horrified as me in recent days to learn about the shocking death toll and destruction of property in Victoria.
Apart from the amazing survival stories the only good thing to come out of it is the way everyday people across the nation are doing their bit to give a helping hand.
Today I heard about a cafe in my regional NSW town running a fundraising lunch on Friday in aid of the Victorian fire appeal.
Then in the blog world I came across some talented crafty people organising a charity auction or sale. See more info here http://handmadehelpsout.blogspot.com/ Even if you're not crafty, perhaps you can buy something?
There was also a Melbourne-based blogger whose workplace is full of people who know someone affected in the firestorm and says there is a need for blood donations. So why not head to your local blood bank – often to be found at a local hospital.
And another lovely blogger mentioned Guides Victoria are pitching in too with the help of the guiding community across Australia. See http://www.guidesvic.org.au/home/news_detail.asp?newsid=128 Maybe the guides in your local community are involved?

There's also the national efforts. Those who can spare cash can:

Donate to the Red Cross State Government Victorian Bushfire Appeal Fund by clicking on the link; or,

Phone 1800 811 700Go to any NAB, ANZ, Westpac or Commonwealth Bank branch

Go to any Bunnings store

Make a direct deposit to the Victorian Bushfire Relief Fund BSB 082-001, Account number 860-046-797

Australia Post will donate $1 million to the bushfire relief fund and collect donations in more than 4000 post offices across the country.

I know we can all do a little something to make the lives of those affected a bit more comfortable. Even if it is a simple care package of toiletries – wouldn’t we all appreciate that if we were in the same circumstance?
My apologies for being on a soapbox of sorts. I just feel it really matters that we help in whatever way we can.

That age old question

2009-02-09T10:22:00.003+11:00

It seems to me that my parents have suddenly gone from youthful to old. Obviously that's far from the reality of the situation but for so many years they both were quite well preserved but now the years are starting to show.

Dad's a 1944 model Aquarian and mum's a 1945 model Libran. I'm a 1966 Sagitarrian and my brother is a 1970 Virgo. The photograph is at their wedding in 1965. I think they look cute.

Without meaning to sound morbid, it has hit me in the past 12 months how the number of years ahead with them around is much less than what I've already had.

Dad is currently in hospital recovering from a moderate stroke and expected home as early as later this week but in the past two years he has had a triple heart bypass, back operation, knee replacement, been fitted for hearing aids as well as the usual colds and flu.

Mum has had a range of heart tests after an irregularity came to light - she eventually got a clean bill of health. A hormone deficiency triggered a severe case of alopecia and she lost virtually all her body hair - her head hair is fairly full now although not as thick as it used to be and her body hair has been more reticent to return.

They divorced about 20 years ago and both eventually entered new marriages. They are both retired but still keep busy with their interests and travel.

I suppose that while they have always been in my life I did know but also somehow failed to realise there would come a time when they won't be around. A reality I don't like to think about - I blame that on the Sagitarrian trait of being prone to fantasising.

And of course, all that is also connected to me getting older too.

Weekend with Allen

2009-02-08T22:29:00.006+11:00

Allen loomed large in my weekend. And Allen has a lot to answer for - where would the RTA be without Allen.

I'm not talking about the Roads and Traffic Authority, but Ready To Assemble furniture. The Allen in question is, of course, the Allen Key. Little tool - a lot of time, angst, sweat and tears.

XY7 and XY3 now have each have a loft bed in their shared room thanks to the humble allen key and my not-so-humble partner who was a whiz at deciphering the RTA instructions and putting the beds together. It was a big challenge - especially in the heat we've all been sweltering in - so only one bed could be assembled on any one day! Getting in and knocking it over in one hit was just a little too logical for my adult (?) XY. You can't rush these things.

I was the trade assistant and he was the foreman you could say. Mmmm, not a dynamic designed to generate domestic calm...but all tempers were kept in check. I got to do the fetching of the various components and deal with the clean up of umpteen plastic bags, four large boxes, styrofoam, cardboard and packing strips the RTA beds were delivered in. I also made the cups of tea, did the usual household chores and ensured we still had three meals a day while also keeping an eye on the young XYs.

I must say that if it was solely left to me the boys would not now be happily asleep in their new beds. I'd still be working on them. I made a mental note never buy more than one piece of RTA furniture at any given time if I can help it!

Fashion faux pas

2009-01-27T15:30:00.008+11:00

What is it about summer weather that brings out fashion faux pas? I lost count of the clothing no-nos spotted during my recent coastal escape . . . white clothing with black underwear, muffin tops - and that's without relaying what I saw on the beach.

I am a plus size woman so I know how difficult it can be to find clothes that fit comfortably, look good and are age appropriate.

But you'll never see me with a muffin top even though I am amply endowed with the necessary body bits to achieve it. For me the worst thing is someone who is probably a size 10 or 12 wearing jeans and other clothes that are so tight it creates bulges. This problem is especially prevalent among wearers of hipsters - a fashion fad which many people don't seem to realise are NOT a style which flatters all.

And can anyone tell me what's going on with showing bra straps? Bras come in so many variations - please just wear the one that's right for what you're wearing. Don't wear a bra with straps straight up over the shoulders if you're wearing a tank with a sports-style back or (worse) a strapless top. Why don't wearers of bras with ``invisible'' straps realise that they are in reality NOT invisible (see the pic). Maybe they have a vision impairment? Or suffer from some strain of Emperor's New Clothes-itis?

Don't those guilty of fashion faux pas have anyone in their lives who love them enough to tell them the error of their ways (in the nicest possible way, of course)?

Making tracks

2009-01-25T14:39:00.006+11:00

I travelled quite a few kilometres on the road and by rail during the Christmas New Year break.

First the family drove five hours to the in-laws' home in Sydney for Christmas. Then the boys and I travelled from Sydney on the XPT to the NSW mid-north coast for a beachside holiday with my mum and her husband. My partner had to return home to work.

The train trip was good fun. The boys enjoyed it and for me it was much more relaxing than driving. On the way back we even got our our own three-seat cabin which became a twin sleeper.

I was a little daunted at usuing public transport with XY3 and XY7 to manage by myself. XY3 can be quite loud and challenging at times. He was really good on the trip out of Sydney but was more of a problem when we had the cabin - perhaps he realised he needed to be well behaved when we in amongst other passengers but could be his feral self when contained in a cabin!

It certainly added and extra element of interest to the holiday. I'd certainly hop aboard the XPT again some time. The only drawback was the coffee - it was certainly something you'd only try once.

Beach holiday revisited

2009-01-22T17:03:00.008+11:00

History never repeats, it has been said (and sung). It certainly rang true for me during my recent 10-day break.

It was my first beachside holiday for some years and was in the same area where my mum, dad, brother and I spent Christmas holidays for about three years running in the 1980s. I anticipated a relaxing, carefree time enjoying the sun and sand and family cameraderie - an experience reminiscent of those holidays during my mid-teens.

But I didn't realise how those fond memories are simply that . . . and cannot be either recreated or relived.

I was so swept away by a self-contrived idyll that I did not stop to think how many things had changed in the years which had since passed.

I was different. I had come to be about the same age my parents were when we made those pilgrimages to the NSW mid-north coast each December. The optimistic, secure teen with no responsibilities had two boys and a partner to look out for, adult concerns to ruminate over and little time to spend on herself.

The holidaymakers were different. My parents divorced and married other people, so it was my mother, her husband, their dog, me and the boys (XY3 and XY7) sharing a two-bedroom villa owned by my great aunt. My brother was there for Christmas Day and Boxing Day but had returned home to Sydney when I arrived after spending Christmas at the in-laws in Sydney. My partner had some work to do and had to return home, so the boys and I travelled from Sydney on the XPT.

The small villa at times was like a pressure cooker. The needs of two young boys did not always gel with the wants of a man aged in his 60s. He had always been quite understanding with the boys on previous occasions and keen to help keep them entertained but not this time. The boys were quite confused by the apparent about face (and so was I). He was worried by some difficult personal experiences one of his sons in another state was going through. However that does not excuse his anti-social and angry behaviour.

Then, of course, because her husband was unsettled and emotional so was my mum. I was on edge because my mum was stressed. Aaarrgghhh!

On the positive side the boys and I swam every day either in the ocean or ocean baths, sometimes twice. We loved it. It was the first time they both had proper swims in the surf and they just thought jumping over waves was the best thing out! We also spotted half a dozen or so dolphins on various days and enjoyed spectacular New Year's Eve fireworks.

One day mum even made a comment about how the holiday wasn't quite like the ones we had in the area in the past. I knew exactly what she was saying. It saddened us both a little.

I now fully realise that revisiting a location does not allow you to relive a certain wonderful experience. It's true, history never repeats. I also learnt not to expect to have a warm and fuzzy family time when you holiday in close quarters with your mother's husband!

I do plan to return to my great aunt's villa for a stay but it will just be me, my partner and our boys - we'll create our own beach holiday memories.

Anyone else had a similar life lesson?

Beautiful artwork

2009-01-20T20:48:00.004+11:00

This could fall under the category of ``boast from a proud mum'', but I wanted to share this lovely piece of artwork XY aged 7 brought home at the end of the school year.

I've decided I'm going to use it to make some cards, wrapping paper and even put it on fabric and make something out of it. I've been inspired to be creative by his creativity. I love the colours, the image - everything about it.

Back on deck

2009-01-20T19:54:00.004+11:00

I feel like a schoolgirl who has not handed in her assignments on time after not having posted for so long.

It's not as if I have nothing to write about. To the contrary . . . Christmas with the in-laws in Sydney, two weeks at the beach on the NSW mid-north coast (sans partner) with mum, her husband and my two XYs aged 3 and 7, travels on a train on the northern line aboard the XPT, securing a place to undertake university studies by distance education and an emotion-filled dash to Newcastle after my dad had a moderate stroke (thankfully he is expected to make a full recovery) has given me plenty of food for thought.

In order not to bite off more than I can chew - or regurgitate - at any given time, I have decided to deliver posts in bite-sized chunks for easy digestion.

Just in case anyone is wondering . . . It has been decreed that Christmas 2009 will be a home-based affair for my partner, boys and I!

Nana's kitchen

2008-12-17T20:35:00.001+11:00

On the limited occasions I cook anything other than a meal, I can't but help remember the wonderful hours I spent with my Nana in her kitchen.

So it was at the weekend when I made Anzac biscuits. I smiled when I thought about standing beside her, watching her and waiting for the okay to lick the spoon or eat some of the pastry off cuts.

The kitchen was a wonderful reflection of home decor in the post-World War II years - which was when my Pop built the three-bedroom fibro home.

There were green laminate benchtops, wooden floor covered with linoleum, fuel stove, curved cabinetry made from masonite and painted cream with pastel blue doors . . . it was like being transported back in time when I stepped inside it. The only modern concessions Nana had made over the years was the addition of an instantaneous hot water system over the kitchen sink, a refridgerator to replace the icebox and an electric freestanding upright stove with a pastel yellow enamel finish (which she refused to update even though she could afford it because she said she ``knew how to get it to do what I want''). She also had what must have been one of the first generation of Sunbeam Mixmasters and much later bought an electric frypan.

This room was the source of wonderful smells, tastes and experiences.

Nana cooked everything from rissoles to chicken broth, toffees to marshmallows. My favourites included pumpkin scones, date scones, date and walnut roll, cakes, baked rice custard, fried chicken (with her own mix of herbs and spices able to rival Colonel Sanders in the minds of her four grandchildren), apple pies, lemon merangue pies and the most amazing coconut ice I have ever tasted.

She also made lemon butter and the most wonderful chutney.

My brother has her recipe book kept safely. It's handwritten in her beautiful Copperplate-esque style. I must get him to loan it to me so I can type up some of my favourites and try to make them.

Nana and her kitchen are irrevocably linked in my mind.

Not only did she spend time there when she cooked, she also like to stand at the bench and look out the window towards a mountain which dominated the local landscape as she sipped her morning cup of tea and ate her toast wearing her chenille candy pink dressing gown.

When I think about it now, I'm not sure if an objective observer would judge Nana a better cook than her contemporaries. All I know is that her cooking tasted good, I loved her and I loved her cooking!

It's all in the DNA

2008-12-09T15:29:00.007+11:00

Genetically speaking, I am the only XX in my family of four.

There's my partner plus XY aged three and XY aged 7.

Already they're ganging up on me.

They seemlessly and unknowingly take it in turns to instruct me on how to do things in a better way - their way, of course.

They take over the TV watching Top Gear, Fifth Gear, Mythbusters, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny and such stuff in which I have no remote interest. In an act of compromise, I acquiese to view the motorcycling road trips of Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman. Not in the least because I generally like watching McGregor (Brassed Off is among my all-time favourite movies) and they visit some interesting places. However, there are many times when my appetite for watching a good movie never comes close to being satiated.

I like to think of myself as a fairly enlightened woman who is truly fazed only on rare occasions. I have read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and feel I am an at an age where life experience has taught me what to expect from the male of the species.

But I did think I had a few more years up my sleeve before a boys club of sorts developed under my own roof! I've been caught unprepared.

I guess you can't fight your genes and all-pervading power of testosterone. At least none of them can go for too long without one of my hugs!

A Christmas tradition

2008-12-07T13:15:00.002+11:00

Some years ago I started a Christmas tradition of my own. Each year - usually Christmas Eve - I watch Miracle on 34th Street. I alternate between the 1947 original (starring Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara and Natalie Wood) and the 1994 remake (starring Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott).

For those who are yet to delight in Miracle on 34th Street, you really must see it.
Apart from being a wonderful story, to me it is a reminder of the power of belief...that anything is possible if you believe. It touches the child in me and reignites my positive feelings.
I realise I risk sounding sappy, but if there's any time of the year when it's OK to be sentimental then surely it has to be at Christmas.
For Miracle on 34th Street virgins, it tells the story of Kris Kringle, a jolly white-whiskered man hired to play Santa Claus at a department store who believes he is the real thing. A little girl, Susie, is among the skeptics he encounters. She has been raised by her mother (a store executive) to believe only in reality.
I don't have a favourite version but there are aspects of each I particularly like.
The original has something a little more magical about it. I think the remake has a little too much cynicism creeping in at times. Perhaps you could say that's a reflection of the collective community of 1947 compared to 1994.
For me Edmund Gwenn and Richard Attenborough are equally as good as Kris Kringle. They are both totally believeable - well, they are for a sap like me!
Gwenn did win the 1947 Oscar for best supporting actor for his performance. The original also won the Oscar for best original story and best original screenplay.
Mara Wilson, the 1994 Susie, is my favourite. I like her impish cheekiness - obviously something 1947 Susie just would not have.
My favourite scene in the 1994 version is when a deaf girl visits Kris in the department store. Her mother explains that she's just happy to see him but Kris signs to communicate with her. (Aaahhh!) In the original it is a recently-adopted Dutch girl who does not speak English and, of course Kris can speak her native tongue.
If nothing else, Miracle on 34th Street is a feel good family friendly movie ... whatever version you get your hands on. And there's no better time than the festive season to watch it.
I look forward to watching it again this year, alongside my sons aged 7 and 3 and possibly my partner if he's inclined. Tell me what you think of it.

Frogs of summers past

2008-12-06T11:15:00.001+11:00

The sounds of a frog croaking wafted in my bedroom window last night.
Rhythmic and strangely soothing, it took me back to hot summers of my teenage years. I would sleep with my windows wide open, hoping to catch any hint of a southerly breeze. The gentle hum of the swimming pool filter was often accompanied by a croaking frog. Inevitably the family dog would try to play with the frog. It's croaking would turn into frantic screeching - only stopping when the frog made its escape from the dog or the dog had killed the frog with its playful curiousity.
It's strange what memories are stockpiled in your mind and then drawn out when the right set of circumstances link them to the present.

The time has come

2008-12-05T08:10:00.000+11:00

I've been stumbling around feeling a little lost of late after deciding to have a career break until my younger son is at school.
Lack of a creative outlet and an audience for my opinions and mumurings had left me a little empty.

Then I remembered the fine example of my friend who started a blog www.katiecrackernuts@blogspot.com earlier this year...and I decided to enter the world of blogging too.

So, for better or worse, it will become the place where the real me can thrive. And hopefully it may reignite the creativity behind some of the past times I have not fostered for some time.

Don't be too alarmed about the underwear. I'm not becoming a naturalist nor have I overdosed on episodes of How to Look Good Naked, I just thought it expressed the idea of revealing more of myself. And, a cranky old sub-editor (aren't they all?) I worked with once had a habit of making me cringe by calling me Nikkers.

Disclaimer: The lady in red underwear is not I . . .just a stockimage I sourced. It looks rather cute I think. I can only dream of having such a diminutive posterior.